Diary of an immigrated angry writer

Diary of an immigrated angry writer

(1)

Life is strange. It carries you helplessly to the unknown. It showers you with surprises yet it does not take your permission when it is about to snatch something from you.

I just stopped in front of a showcase when I came across a bag that might have cost not less than 15 thousand dirhams.

I do have this amount, in fact, but I do not want to buy it.

I do not want to buy anything especially after losing three jobs at once because of my political point of view. I no longer feel the desire to spend money because I know the coming days will be very hard, and one of the most important lessons I learned in my life that it does not matter how much money you have, what you earn is what should determine the level of your spending!

Crowdedness of the mall does not even match the congestion of thoughts in my head.

Life is strange - I keep telling myself – In the beginning of the year I was in my father's house, living like a princess.

I would phone my housemaid whenever I needed a glass of water or my favorite jasmine tea. Now I have to think of the clothes pile I have to wash after I fled my country because of harassment by government-related individuals. Now, I live and manage my life alone.

To be honest, washing clothes is not as difficult as I expected – I just have to separate the whites from colored - so as not to lose more clothes like last time because of the poor laundry management.

I am an oppositionist writer. I stood against the injustice and corruption that I witnessed, and I was rewarded with a war from the government's side that led me to leave what I like in my country and face the unknown.

From this column, I will take try to open a window that allows you to take a look at my life, my thoughts, and my story.

*****

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What a mess !!

(2)

Two people from Bahrain just passed by me. It is clear they are loyal to the government simply because of the way they gazed at me. I felt their rage and hatred penetrating, and one of them even muttered something- most probably he was cursing me!!
Since the wave of protests started to demand democracy and a constitutional Kingdom instead the autocracy of the ruling family, we  - the people who asked for and supported such reforms - received the worst treatment from the people in power and their supporters. We suffered from the worst accusations and epithets by those who I like to think – for my psychological wellbeing -  have been manipulated and used by the government. The government managed to transform these people into monsters ready to rip out our flesh in any and every place. I would also like to believe they are criminals and victims at the same time because I do not want to hate them. I want to believe the government is responsible for all the crimes they commit against us so that I will not be a victim of hatred just like them.


After they left, I called my friend Suad from Bahrain. Whenever something annoying takes place in my life, I immediately circulate it to my close contacts so as try to throw part of that burden on others. It makes me feel comfortable. But the strange thing is that although I'm very sensitive, I do have the memory of a goldfish as they say. I cry and complain like a child whenever I get hurt, but I forget and laugh minutes later.
Suad's phone was ringing while I was murmuring to myself. Why don't I have the ability to swallow what happened without the help of someone else? I have to make new local friends that so that a phone call to them won't cost me 9 dollars per minute.
You suffer from something minute dear - said Suad - You know what happened today?
We had to enter an interrogation committee today at work after one of our colleagues told on us.
It is incredible, I told her after my eyes widened with disgrace. Won't be shy of what she did? Doesn't she fear God?
The situation is difficult and stifling here. There is a big social gap between the two sects. I did not want to go out of the house. Everybody looks at you with apprehension and fear. They implicitly question whether you are with us or with them.
I cannot believe that the people in power have succeeded in inciting the people from one sect against the other in order to protect themselves.
I can't believe that people they fell for such trick.
People have allowed themselves to turn into criminals to serve the struggle for the important 'chairs' in the country.
They haven't learned anything from what happened and is happening in other parts of the world.

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The new form of “witch hunt “

(3)

Did you forgot your days at the Ritz? And your days at Al-Bandar with the Saudis and Qataris?
A person published these words on Twitter. This person's account has no picture or name. The name of the account consists of a code and it has 4 followers although until today the account made 2300 Tweets until this day!!
These few words have the power in our society to destroy any ordinary girl, let alone someone famous and have influential enemies like myself. Of course I do not know what he means and I do not think he knows what he means.
I do know that sometimes I get bored from writing at home, so I usually go to one of three places: the Ritz Cafe, where tranquility fills the place and 3 girls usually play either “Swan Lake” or “A Thousand and One Nights” as soon as I enter because I usually request them, Starbucks which I usually go to in the morning because it's usually crowded in the evening, or a cafe called Lilou which serves Turkish coffee exactly the way I prefer it.
All of these places have nothing suspicious about them.
As for Al- Bander, I haven't been there since 2008, when a telecommunications company hosted a gathering there one night in Ramadan!!
Of course all those details are not important. No one will ask this unknown person for any evidence. It is enough to mention the presence of an illicit relationship involving me so that people will talk about such piece of info as a fact.
In the East, the chastity of a girl is a very sensitive issue.
When we were young, we were told that a girl's chastity is like a match stick, it can be burnt by a single word.
It is great injustice, the girl might be straight in her manners, but when one person decides to tarnish her reputation, it is enough for him/her to say only one word.
When I was a student in the University of Kuwait, some young people issued a list comprising wayward girls annually as they claim. All girls await this list with concern that they might be included. What all these girls have in common in that they are beautiful, some of which come from rich families, elegant, and are hardworking, bright students. The list was like a revenge list for all those that are disliked by both males and females.

As for the way I look, it was always a matter of controversy, and was not of utmost importance until the recent political crisis. However, it became important after the entrance of the Saudi army to the country to combat the helpless protestors in Bahrain. Simply because I criticized this publicly, they changed how they viewed me. They started to publish numbers claiming that they are attributed to ethical and moral cases filed against me in court. They also spread certain information regarding the time and place where the case took place in order to allude the truthfulness of the incident. I addressed them publicly and asked them to bring forward any piece of evidence pertaining to a case involving a car accident let alone a moral or ethical case. Of course they couldn't find anything, but they managed to spread rumors about me on a daily basis so that it would stick in people's heads.

They questioned my body, my figure, my attitude, and my source of income.  They trashed my reputation to affirm only one thing: Do you believe anything said by a "….." like her regarding the authority in our country? Every day they try to tarnish the reputation of oppositionists in order to protect the people in authority, irrespective of ethical, moral, or religious criteria. What's weird is that Islam punishes those who try to ruin the reputation of girls especially if there's no evidence. However, people like these do not have morals to abide by. As they say, the match stick got burnt and one should not cry on "spilled milk".

If time would go back, will I be able to have the same attitude towards certain issues, which led to this viscous attack against me? I would want to say no in order forget what happened to me in the last few months. But in truth, if I could go back in time over and over again, I would do what I did because I have complete faith in it. Lots of people pay their lives for the sake of their principles, and I paid my share.


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